I’m sorry if you don’t like reading about my fight with cancer.
I’m sorry if the fact I’ve been raped twice and abused disturbs you.
I’m sorry I don’t post pictures of beautiful skinny girls or cute puppies or hot guys.
But I’m not here for you. I’m here for me. Because at least I feel like someone listens when I write. And I’m pretty damn lonely these days.
So, I’m sorry. But if you don’t like me, if you don’t want to see what I have to say, if you think I’m too dry, boring, and pathetic for your dashboard, then fuck off.
I just don’t give a fuck anymore.
If I die, I die.
If I don’t, yay for me.
I become another face in another collage either way.
Cancer, you bitch, what have you done to me?
Feel loving? Fill my inbox with random comments or questions. I’ll answer anything :)
Tumblr’s given me a true friend.
I’ve basically been bed ridden for the last week. My doctors are doing tests and trying to treat whatever they can.
The nurses brought Seth a bed, because he was sleeping in a chair and walking really funny cuz it hurt his back lol. He’s still here.
I’m totally in love with him.
Jimmy, a kid down the hall, sings in his sleep. It’s so funny.
My parents are basically draining my college fund and wedding savings into the hospital stuff, so Seth and I have decided once we get out of here, we’re becoming professional bums ;)
I’ve been banned from energy drinks… I get crazy. Girl running down hall screaming. Girl running into wall screaming. Girl needed wheelchair to get back to room. Maybe caffeine and morphine are bad together? Just a thought :P
Loving someone…it’s risky business. When you’re so emotionally invested in one person, it’s really terrifying. It’s easier to be horribly human and hurt the person you love because then you can’t expect any better treatment in return, which allows you to never feel let down. But when you love, when you really love, it’s different. When you let your walls down and allow your heart to be completely naked for prying eyes to see. It’s really taking a chance. A leap of faith. One day you really will lose that person. Heaven and hell will battle for their soul and eventually one will win, and they’ll exit this world and leave you by yourself again. But when you love like that…you can’t lose.
